Yes, I’m a little nauseated writing this post, but it needs to be said.
Us women, have spent half of our life (or more) wondering about, “the one.”
Wondering what he will be like; wondering how we’ll meet him, how we will “know.”
Will it be love at first sight? Dramatic? Boring? Crazy?
Is it going to be like the movies?
I’ll tell you what it was like for me. And it was not love at first sight. In fact, after our first date went great, my husband friend-zoned me for a good month and a half).
But, after our second date, we were inseparable and there were certain things that happened over the next few months, that I think are worth sharing for young women, wondering how they will “know” when they’ve found “the one.”
1. He will tell you the truth, and you will feel it to your core.
I remember the first time that I realized that my boyfriend (now, husband) was a man of his word. I remember it like it was yesterday. He looked me right in the eyes and said, “I am not walking out on you” and for the first time, I knew that he was telling me the truth.
I knew that he meant it.
He said it with such conviction that I felt bad for ever thinking any differently, for wondering if he really was the real deal.
I had formerly dated a string of losers (bad choices on my part- I take ownership) and with each one, I overlooked the red flags; I tucked away that little voice that said, “BULLSHIT!” And I went along with it.
I don’t know why, but I did.
But, this time, that little voice was saying,
“This is what you’ve been waiting for.”
“Don’t mess it up.”
2. You won’t question where you stand with him.
If there’s one thing I could say about my husband (I mean, let’s be honest, I could say a lot), it’s that I’ve never, ever, EVER questioned where I stood with him. From the day that we started officially dating, he was IN.
Not in and out.
Not wishy-washy or flaky or confusing.
After our 4th or 5th date, HE asked ME, “So, what are we?”
Because, girls, when a man is interested in you, loves you, respects you-
You. Will. Know.
He will make it known.
And not just to you. He will let it be known to the world.
To his friends.
To his family.
To the World Wide Web.
He will know.
They will know.
You will know.
He will need that verbal confirmation that you are his girlfriend. He won’t hesitate to introduce his friends to you. He will gladly change that relationship status on Facebook.
That’s just how it works.
It’s like some sort of territorial, caveman thinking where he needs to establish his connection with this woman that he feels strongly about.
Because he is proud.
Because he is serious.
Because he is in love.
3. He will propel your relationship towards the future.
When a man loves you, he has an end game in mind. And it’s not to confuse you or lead you on or have his cake and eat it, too.
Yes, guys are supposed to be macho and manly and unemotional, but I’m here to tell you that’s not the case.
Men want to seal the deal. They want the prize. And when a man is ready to settle down and he finds the right person, he will point your relationship in that direction.
He won’t be fighting with you over partying with his friends or moving out of mom and dads house.
He won’t be sex-ting other girls or stalling making your relationship Facebook official.
He’ll be the one suggesting you move in together or take your relationship to the next level.
It won’t be forced.
It won’t be coerced.
It will just be.
4. He will accept you as you are.
As a mother.
Whatever it is that makes you stand out- that drives other people crazy, it’s accepted.
He won’t try to change you or your quirkiness.
He will accept it. Because he loves it.
5. He will make sacrifices.
In an effort to impress you, satisfy you or just make you happy, he’ll make a sacrifice (or many). When a man is serious about you, he wants you to know that. (This is usually what’s so infuriating later on in a relationship is when the sacrifices aren’t made anymore and there’s a lot of “you used to…” statements being made).
I remember after a couple of months of dating, the “I Love Lucy” show was coming to town and I was THERE FOR IT!! That show is my all-time favorite and I love it for more than the show itself. I literally love Lucy and everything she accomplished as a woman and entrepreneur (that’s a whole ‘Nother post).
But, the show was coming to town and I wanted to go so bad. I took full advantage of my now-husbands eagerness to make me happy (LOL) and not only did he buy the tickets and go with me, but he let me pick the seats. He didn’t care how much it cost (I didn’t pick the most expensive seats for the record), he didn’t care about how much he would not enjoy it, and he didn’t care about driving in downtown Louisville (which he hated).
The only thing he cared about was making me happy; about creating an experience that I’d never forget. It wasn’t about him. It was about me.
Men will make the sacrifice.
They’ll make sure that you know.