There. I said it.
And I know I shouldn’t say that. I know my maker is ashamed of me for saying that, but it’s the truth- it’s my truth and I’ve struggled to tell y’all that for a while. But, I know that I can’t be alone in feeling that way.
I’m ashamed to be a Christian, because I know what pops into everyone’s mind when they hear that word:
We live in a time, now, where being a Christian has become a negative label, yet I am one, but I am not those things above (unless you chew with your mouth open, then I will judge you).
But, hear me out. I don’t participate in the “Christians are being persecuted” movement that some have joined, because I’m fully aware that this is the result of those same “Christians” who are ruining our good name. While the media seems to only highlight the controversial “Christian,” they overlook the quiet, in the background, Christian. The quiet Christian who is doing good work; who is living (or, at least, trying to live) a Christian life; who is giving and praising and welcoming. That’s the Christian that I want to be associated with- that’s the Christian that I strive to be/become.
God has, no doubt, worked in huge ways in my life, and even when I thought he wasn’t there- he was, yet, I struggle to claim him openly and publicly. Here I am, with this new blog that has gained a massive following in a short amount of time (no doubt, another God thing), yet, I feel compelled to keep hush-hush on such an essential part of my life- my faith.
Do I claim it?
Talk about it?
Share about it, like I want to?
Or do I keep the controversy away and stick to the subject of motherhood?
Because, I know that when I share this, it will scare some moms away, and that makes me sad.
At the end of the day, I want my tribe to be diverse.
I want my tribe to simply be moms.
I want to lift moms up and pat them on the back, and tell them that they’re not crazy (or, maybe just that I’m crazy, too) and I want to focus on the topic of this blog- motherhood.
And, if we can relate on a whole ‘nother level- our faith- that’s simply amazing.
But, if we can’t, then, we can still all agree that Caillou is annoying as hell and that man colds are the worst.
I’ve realized, that I want my tribe to see that we don’t have to agree on everything to still be sisters in motherhood. Whether you have a big family or small; you live in the city or the country; you are Republican or Democrat- we are sisters; we are moms. And, we should be in this together, regardless of race, political party or religious beliefs.
I want my tribe to see what “Christian” really means, and that’s not by my words, or my keyboard shouting or my judgements. It’s by my actions.
I’ve skirted around the topic, and you’ve probably made your assumptions, but I guarantee you, most of you are wrong. So, I find it fitting to address it, now, and speak for so many others who, like me, find it hard to proclaim.
I am a christian.
But, I’m not a Republican.
Sometimes, I’m conservative, but, most of the time, I’m liberal.
All of the time, I struggle with a hatred for politics and politicians, as a whole. You’ll never find me on any politician’s bandwagon, and you’ll never find me picking party over policy, because my party is “independent,” which is, fundamentally, policy over party.
God has worked in my life and God has given me a platform. I don’t, yet, know what I’m to use my platform for, so I’m listening, and waiting for His direction.
But, that doesn’t mean that if you’re an Atheist, that we can’t be friends.
That doesn’t mean that if you are a Buddhist, that I can’t make you snort-laugh.
That doesn’t mean that I only sit with straight women or that I turn my nose up at tattoo’s (hello, I have a huge tattoo on my left foot). Because, my job is to love you all. That’s it. Not to tell you how to live or tell you that I’m better or tell you that you’re wrong and I’m right (trust me, my husband gets enough of that).
That doesn’t mean that I will shove my religion down your throat, or shame you for thinking differently.
It means that I will share my story, and my testimony for you to read (or not), and I will try my best to lead by example as the type of Christian that the word is intended to be. I will hope that, one day, you’ll find the peace that comes from believing, but I won’t shame you or judge you until you do, because I know, that finding God can take time.
And, at the end of the day, if you’re a Christian, too, then I am psyched that we have, yet another, thing in common.
But, if you’re not, I hope that I can show you what it really means to be a Christian, and that we’re really not all that the media makes us out to be.
I’m ashamed to be a Christian, but I’m not going to be ashamed anymore.