The Red Carpet Series

Mama is Going to the Red Carpet!

Y’all. I can’t even.

In 2 weeks, I’ll be covering a red carpet movie premiere.

What is this life?!

They actually reached out to ME and pitched the idea to me, as if they really needed to sell a night out in Nashville to a mom of 3 kids, ages 5 and under.

They had me at “red carpet.”

They could’ve asked me to vacuum the red carpet for them and I would’ve been all over that, with matched enthusiasm.

Funny thing, I (clearly) agreed to do it. Probably with a little more enthusiasm than necessary. Probably didn’t exude a ton of professionalism, because, again, they said “red carpet” and I’m a mom who is usually only picking toys up off of a beige carpet with bits of dried Play-Doh embedded.

So, I agree. Then I text my friend (yes, “the one”), to see if she wants to go with me, whose like, “YES! ????”

Let’s be honest, we have 7 kids between us, so she probably would’ve been equally excited if I invited her to go to the McDonalds with me, sans kids, because #momlife.

—> Also, if you don’t have a friend who offers to help you keep your mouth shut, find one. Everyone needs that kind of honesty in their life and I, especially, need some reigning in when in new territories (so, just anywhere outside of my house). <—

Now, I’d like to do a little TBS (Throw Back Saturday) here to when I FINALLY saw a celebrity after living in Nashville for over a year. I was so excited when we moved because I just *knew* that I would run into a celebrity at Kroger or the doctor’s office, because, really, those are the only places that I go, and, of course, celebrities will be there. Duh. I kept seeing some of my new TN friends posting selfies with celebrities in random places, like Luke Bryan at Walgreens and Jason Aldean at Longhorn.

WHEN WAS IT GOING TO BE MY TURN?!?

Oh, it was my turn when I was out with some girlfriends, eating Mexican and had just polished off a margarita. It was my turn in the Mexican restaurant with weird lighting that made my face look funny. It was my turn when I had impulsively attempted to revive my naturally curly hair, that in my 28 years of life, still don’t know how to fix, other than cooking it between 2 hot, metal, pads, and even with my new found enthusiasm to *finally* master my curls, failed to do so. But, that is neither here nor there. I finally met a celebrity.

What is this picture, you ask?

Well, this is the covert picture that I took before Mr. Feek actually walked up to our table, because, again, #stalker. (Me. Not him.)

Clearly, this media company is unaware of my complete word vomit, stalker, star struck moment and is in the dark on my new-to-Nashville tendencies. I’m essentially the annoying, picture-taking tourist in any major city that has any major landmark that every living resident rolls their eyes at.

I can’t help it.

I’ve lived in small towns my whole life. I’ve never met a celebrity. Celebrities who were born in my neck of the woods moved away. And never came back.

So, now, I’m going to have a chance to interview some movie stars.

What will I say to them??

One of them also lives close to me. I will probably tell him that, too. And really, just any celebrity in the state of Tennessee, I consider to be a neighbor. So, there’s that.

“Oh, you live in Memphis?! I’m just 4 hours away in Nashville! Just right down the road!”

*strange looks*

I don’t get out much. It’s okay.

Now, on to what do I wear?

I don’t even know.

I need Amazon to tell me what is fashionable. But also, affordable, because I will probably never wear said outfit again.

I’m 28, now, and I’ve noticed that old trends have looped back in to be trendy again, which I take as a sign that I am now approaching “old” status. I’m in that weird part where I’m still, technically, in my 20’s, but relate more to a 40 year old woman than a 20 year old girl. I’m also quite disturbed after speaking to a 20 year old. That was never me, right?

I was never like that.

My brain completely developed at 18. Right?

I have a mom pooch, so I need an outfit that masks that. Preferably, an outfit that literally says, “look away from this area.”

They probably make t-shirts that say that.

Please send me links to said outfits.

Also, will probably need some Spanx.

Mama is going to the red carpet.

Holy hell.

There better be coffee.

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